Yes, We Were in Love. Yes, We Had a Child. No, I Didn’t Have My Heart Broken.

You read that right. And, if you have to, go ahead and read that title again.

They say we’ve all been there–can’t eat, can’t sleep, and feeling like you can’t move on. You’re tossing and turning and everything you do reminds you of that one person.

It might also be assumed to hold more truth when that one person is someone you have a child with, and you’re reminded of them every day.

But have we all really been there?

When I first found out I was going to become a mother, I was 17 years old, two months out of high school, and (roughly) two and a half years deep with my son’s father.

Though we had shared many “I love you’s” in that time, we also had our share of breakups and makeups. We were young and didn’t really know where we were going to end up as individuals in the real world, let alone as a couple. But on August 25, 2008, reality put us in a position where we needed to figure it out quick.

After about a year and some change of trying to make it work as a family–“for our family”–we called it quits. I could have easily shut down and wondered, “What am I going to do?” But it was the complete opposite. My heart didn’t break because it felt like I lost someone who didn’t want to be there to begin with. And in that moment, I felt as though I had been reborn. I felt revived. Though I was disappointed with the situation, I wasn’t heartbroken. I didn’t feel like I couldn’t move on, because my purpose to keep going was a 1-year-old smiling right in front of me. My purpose was greater than myself.

Being a single mom hasn’t been easy, and I’ve had my share of tears and hard times. However, it’s never been because I felt like I missed out on love or because the one I loved got away. When the breakup happened and I truly became a single mom, I knew what I had to do, and that was focus on the love that was carrying me through more than just a “relationship.” It was the love that was carrying me through my darkest, brightest, happiest, and most memorable times. The love that was unconditional, pure, genuine, and honest.

That’s it–honest. Which is what love should be about.

And that love came from my son.

Whether you’re a single mom like me, or just someone brushing against the path of love, it’s important not to lose yourself with every butterfly that may fill your stomach. Not every one is going to be “the one” and that’s OK.

Life has a funny way of opening our eyes and forcing us to realize what is really important. Sometimes that means us falling in and out of love, becoming a parent, being alone, or dating around. Not everyone is on the same path, but when the time is right, it will cross with the one who is right for you.

Honest love will find you.

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