What Do You Do When It’s the Right Person But the Wrong Time?

Timing is such an interesting concept.

When it comes to dating, we often hear the phrase, “Timing is everything,” and while there is some truth there, I can’t help but wonder–is there ever really a “right” time? After all, isn’t time relative?

Through various conversations in the past, and my personal experience, I’ve noticed that part of the problem with this idea is that there is a different approach from men and women when it comes to meeting the right person at the wrong time. To help illustrate this, I conducted a Twitter poll for ladies and gents to see what each would do (and it turned out just as I’d predicted).

 

 

The votes were super close, but generally speaking, when met with someone of potential or interest, women tend to make an effort to fit this person into their life regardless of where they are on their personal journey. Men, however, would rather let this person go, handle their shit, and then reevaluate the situation once things are where they feel they should be in their life.

That’s exactly what I’ve experienced in the past, and that can cause issues. People tend to assume that everyone operates the same way they do, and while it’d be awesome to have the cheat codes embedded in us, that’s not the case. However, with this idea, we become frustrated when faced with opposing actions that, for us, mean something differently than what they may mean to the other person.

Classic example: I like a guy, I go after said-guy regardless of being in a weird, transitional phase in my life, because who the fuck cares, this guy is amazing. Therefore, when a guy meets me, tells me I’m amazing but “isn’t ready for a relationship” and then bounces, I’m like WTF? He must not mean it. I must not be amazing. He’d make it work otherwise.

Cue depressing music, Pinterest quotes and lots of ice cream.

While some guys may actually be full of shit when they say that, I know there are a few who mean it.

I can understand both sides. As some male users expressed, they didn’t want to “fuck up” a good girl because of their inability to fully invest in a relationship. Women, on the other hand, were increasingly frustrated with this notion, commenting, “There is no such thing as the right time. You have to decide to make it the right time,” or “If it’s the wrong time, it’s the wrong person.”

There’s truth here across the board, which, I know, only makes it that much more frustrating to navigate if you’re in this situation.

For this reason, I don’t think you can find a general consensus. Sorry! But that’s OK, because at the end of the day, you don’t care what’s happening with everyone else, you want to know what’s going on with you, and here’s the best way to navigate…

If you want something more with this person, but they don’t–keep it moving. At the end of the day, the why doesn’t really matter, because you’re not going to get the reciprocation and investment that you want, which will harbor resentment towards them no matter how hard you try to silence your expectations.

It’s gonna suck, and you may question if you made the right decision, but I’ve seen it enough times to know that when someone wants you to be a part of their life, they’ll leave no room for interpretation.

 

Do you try to make it work or let them go & hope it happens when the time is right? Let me know your thoughts. #theproblemwithdating

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