Tonight’s sure-to-be insightful post is inspired by MTV’s Real World: Ex-Plosion. Yes, I watch it. Yes, you can judge me (because the right person will love me for me–and my questionable taste in TV).
Regardless, on tonight’s episode, viewers saw Tom get annoyed by Jamie’s need to have a title on their relationship, so he took it back. Gasp! He just didn’t get why she found being his “girlfriend” necessary.
I instantly thought a few things:
1. Tom, stop being dumb.
2. I love Jamie and I want to be her best friend.
3. WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY?! IT’S OBVIOUS!
4. I need to blog about this.
And so here I am.
(FYI, for those of you who are worried about what happened with Tom and Jamie, he regained his senses after a quick chat with Dad and became her boyfriend again. Good call, Tommy boy!)
Again, I am no expert in dating (obvs) and you can’t generalize one woman’s views on a certain matter as the overall consensus, but here’s my opinion anyway–and you may find that other females agree.
The reason we want a title on the relationship is simple–because we want stability and security.
My very first post on this blog was about being stuck in the gray area. It’s a shitty area and no one wants to be there. By not putting a label on what you are, you become permanent residents of Graysville. Not only that, you end up looking like a douche.
Sure, you don’t mean to look like a douche. But you do. And here’s why…
Imagine being a girl who is dating this guy. You two have been seeing other regularly for a while now, you know each other’s friends, you enjoy each other’s company, you have sex, you hang out, you are practically in a relationship without the title. When you bring this up to the man-in-question, he tells you, “Why do we have to label things? Why can’t we just be the way we are?”
Um, no. You know what that sounds like? An excuse.
An excuse to not be fully committed to the girl and an excuse to have a Get Out of Jail free card when you fuck up (ex: “You’re not my girlfriend, you have no right to be mad!”).
As a female, when a guy tells me he doesn’t want a title, it’s a red flag. Because what you’re really telling me is you don’t want people to know I’m your girl. And if you’re not excited to yell from the rooftops that I’m your girl, then why am I wasting my time? Even more than that, you’re telling me you don’t want to invest in me and in what we have. Sorry bud, you can’t expect me to treat you like my man while you’re still clinging on to your single life.
Remember: “You deserve someone who’s willing to jump fences to be with you. Not someone who’s on the fence about being with you.”
And that’s the truth.