True or False: Timing Is Everything

“If you have chemistry, you only need one other thing: Timing. But timing’s a bitch.”

The argument of time is a tale as old as, well, time.

You’ve gotta be at the right place at the right time…The timing’s off…It’s not the right time…

Some of this makes sense to me. In fact, some of it makes perfect sense. But when it comes to love and dating, I sometimes struggle with the argument of time, and I’m going to do my best to explain why.

There’s the physical aspect of time–I have an appointment at 1:30. I need to be at work by 9. Meet me in an hour–which no one can argue. Those are just the facts.

But when it comes to something not as simple as a scheduled visit or routine of your daily life, how can you be so sure that timing is essential? How do you know that you’re not using “time” as an excuse?

You never know when you’ll meet someone, and I’ve experienced, both in my personal life and those of my friends, that you can meet (who you believe to be) the perfect person, but nothing happens because “it’s not the right time.”

That’s where I become confused.

Everyone has a different mentality and way of doing things, I get that, but I don’t understand how someone can let a potentially perfect person walk right by because of timing–something that cannot be measured, something that you’ve convinced yourself in your head.

Remember my soul mate that I talked about in previous posts? I met him when I was at my peak of singledom. I was talking to X-amount of guys, flirting with others, having the time of my life…but once I met him, none of that mattered, because I truly believed that he was everything I was searching for. So regardless of where I was at in that point of my life, timing didn’t stop me from pursuing someone that I felt was too good to pass up. I was ready to make a 180 for this guy.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t say the same for him.

Not everyone is going to take control of the situation and take a chance. Understandable. We’re all different in the way we handle certain situations, and I can’t knock people for having a different mindset than me.

This is a conversation I’ve had with a handful of friends in the past week alone, and everyone has a different outlook on it. I’ve noticed that female friends think similarly to what I’m explaining here–maybe the timing isn’t right, but why not try it out anyway?–while guys see things differently–she’s everything I could want, but it’s just not the right time.

“No matter how good of a woman you are, you will never be good enough to a man who isn’t ‘ready.'”

I’m not saying timing doesn’t play a role at all, but maybe it’s you that’s stopping a possibly great relationship from forming, not time. Maybe the timing is fine, but you’re just afraid of taking that step, so you’re using this generally accepted reason as validation of your fear.

But what do I know?! We haven’t done a True or False in a while, and since this seems to be a topic that kept springing on me recently, I decided to kill two birds with one stone.

So you tell me–Is timing really everything?

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  • damn this article hits home.. I’m going through that now.. but maybe a man saying its not the right time is a nice way to blow you off.. i am so confused 🙁

  • Yes, timing plays a huge part in making a relationship work. I recently met an amazing woman, but she isn’t in a place where she wants to date and I can respect that, but at the same time – why not give it a chance? It hurts that she wont. I am giving her space, trying to respect her wishes and just be a friend if that’s what she wants. I don’t expect anything from her, I have been where she is right now. Its tough being the person wanting to talk so bad (and not knowing how she is feeling at the same point in time). My feelings for her developed fairly quickly and our connection was unlike anything I have ever experienced in my 26 years of living. I have waited 26 years, so what is another week to a month just so see what happens right?
    I love your blog, i have been reading it all night. Thank you so much for putting yourself out there.
    -Matt Kiss

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