To the Men Whose Hearts Have Been Broken

I know you’re out there. You’re not forgotten.

It may seem like all I do is write about guys who fuck women over, and I know that’s not the reality of the matter. I know guys get fucked over, too. It’s just harder for me to write about that because I haven’t experienced it. I’m not a guy.

However, that led to me wondering if I’ve ever really fucked a guy over. I couldn’t think of any specific incident. I’m too nice. So then, I started thinking about whether or not I’ve ever broken a guy’s heart. And that I’m guilty of.

It’s even weird for me to type that…Oh, I’ve broken guys’ hearts. It sounds so egotistical. But it’s the truth, and I didn’t even really realize how much pain I may have caused people until I recently got my heart broken.

I was sitting in my proverbial dark hole of emptiness and self-loathing (my room), dreading life and love and anything that had to do with it, and a few thoughts crossed my mind: One, was you guys (I think I’ve mentioned that). I thought of how many of you read my blogs and follow my Instagram to find some sort of soothing from that very pain that I was feeling and it was all just surreal. The second thought was the guys in my life who ended up in that same dark hole because of me.

Obviously, I’ve never intentionally broken someone’s heart, even though some most deserved it. I’ve never been a malicious person. It’s just not in me. But I know I’ve caused pain. I know there are a few who feel they may not have gotten closure or feel like they’ve been overlooked or ignored or played. I know there is at least one who doesn’t even allow my name to be brought up in their presence.

And for that, I’m sorry.

I’ve tried to be more expressive in recent years when it came to cutting ties, and some may find that unnecessary because “you don’t owe them anything,” but it’s not about owing anyone. It’s about respect. And I’d like to consider myself a respectful person.

However… I’d be lying if I said I’ve never gone on a date and then completely lost interest even though I said, “This was fun! I’m sure we’ll see each other soon.” I’d be lying if I said I don’t see text messages and just choose not to respond. I’d be lying if I said that there are some guys who I knew from the jump I didn’t care to date but did anyway because that seemed easier than saying no.

And for that, I’m sorry.

We’re all a work in progress. We all get hurt, we all (intentionally or not) hurt others and we all get right back up again and do it all over again. It can become a vicious cycle, and that’s when I ask you for a favor…

Don’t let it.

This is what I’ve noticed from guys…They take heartbreak just as bad as us girls do. Maybe even harder to be honest. But they’re not as expressive or emotional, so on the outside, it seems like they’re doing perfectly fine. Whereas women are very expressive, and we’ll post the quotes and the memes and the song lyrics, etc.

While we’re different in that sense, sometimes the way we approach the next potential relationship seems to be similar. When you’re hurt, you build a wall because you don’t want to hurt again, your pride takes over and you end up hurting someone else in the process.

Here’s a visual:

valentinescycle

Don’t be part of the cycle. Don’t let your broken heart affect the next person you date. Don’t punish them for someone else’s mistakes and don’t ever, ever be afraid to open yourself up to someone again.

You don’t protect your heart by acting like you don’t have one.

Be respectful. Be kind. Be honest. Be a good person. Not because that person deserves that from you (sometimes they don’t), but because that’s the type of person you are.

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