Thoughts of an Insecure Man

Why am I so insecure?

Is it because I’ve been with women who were in relationships? Is it because I, myself, have thoughts of cheating? Is it because she gets a lot of attention from other people? Is it because she is more successful than I am? Is it because I was taught never to trust a woman by society? Is it because ever since I was a child, I’ve been exposed to so many stories that depict women as manipulative, deceptive and selfish?

Why am I so insecure?

Why am I going through her phone if I tell her I trust her? Why am I studying her social media if I feel secure in our relationship? Is it because I never saw a successful relationship in my home, so I’m not sure it actually exists? Am I just a product of my environment?

Why am I so insecure?

Is it because I know she has been with other men before me? Were they bigger, better or last longer? Is she used to a person who can treat her to more of the joys of life than I can? Why did she choose me? When she goes out, will she meet someone who makes her change her opinion of me?

Why am I so insecure?

Is it because I know I don’t treat her like the queen she is? Is it because I don’t lift her up and instead call her out her name? Is it because I don’t let her know how important she is? Do I not publicize our love enough?

Why am I so insecure?

Is it because my father never taught me how to be a man, therefore, I’m afraid of being unequipped to lead a successful relationship? Is it because she yells, catches an attitude or makes me feel like I never do anything right? Is it because she has been hurt or disappointed by all the men in her life, so I’m not sure she’ll ever truly trust me? Is it because her guard is so high that she won’t allow me in her heart? Is it because her heart is still with another man, yet she is too stubborn to believe it?

There are so many reasons to be insecure, but all I want to know is why am I so insecure?

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