So after I tossed Tinder out of the so-called “window,” I took a break from any online interaction.
However, as time went on, I kept getting signs that maybe I should give online dating another try–but this time, on a site that asks for more than just some pictures, your location and age.
So, I tried a few free websites that I had heard things about, because I’m not ready to start investing money into this. And, although I’ve heard some success stories (my mother’s included), I just can’t.
1. What to Say? Every word matters. You wanna come off funny, serious, smart, silly, fun, intellectual, outgoing, reserved, sexy but sophisticated all at the same time. From your screen name to your bio to your little jokes–everything matters. And that’s pressure.
2. Pictures! Then you need visuals to match your “personality” that you gave off through your text. You want them to think you’re pretty, but then if you look too good, they might think you’re just a sex pistol. And even if you are a sex pistol, you don’t want them to know that right away. Then they’ll think you’re slutty. Then, you have to think about selfies vs. group pictures. You want some solo shots so they know who you are, but too many selfies might make it seem like you have no friends.
3. OMG, Messages: OK, so messages needs some subcategories, because this is where most of the real problems live.
a. You Become Bombarded: Suddenly, there’s message after message after message coming your way, you barely have time to reply before someone else hits you up and at first you’re like, ‘Hey! Look at me!’ and then shortly after it’s like, ‘Jesus Christ. Cool it!’ And I know for a fact that this isn’t just me. Read this article about a guy posing as a woman on OKCupid. He dealt with it firsthand.
b. The Ones You Want to Message You, Don’t: Or they take forever to reply. Or they never reply. So you’re stuck there waiting for the guy you’re actually interested in, wishing that these other guys who are blowing you up would magically become them.
c. Dealing With This: Please refer to my following display of messages to see what I’m referring to. These are just a few gems…
Alas, there are some upsides to online dating–no, not finding love. Comparing messages with your friends who are also on dating sites.
Especially, when you both have the same guy messaging each of you (on different sites, mind you) with the. same. message.