I wasn’t sure how people would react to my first post, but thankfully the responses were encouraging and I appreciate each and every one of you that showed me love, commented, liked, shared the post, etc. I also appreciate the negative responses, too, because there’s no success without critics–Jacky loves you too!
So where do I start? I guess the beginning would be a solid choice, right?
First off, a confession: I’ve been with a lot of women, like A LOT, and I’m saying this in the most non-braggadocious, literal and direct way possible (don’t worry we’ll get into some epic stories down the road). But please join me on the voyage to Whore Island!
The irony in all of this is that I that wasn’t always the ladies’ man, and it wasn’t because women didn’t find me attractive, I just didn’t have confidence in that department.
I was always “internally weird,” if you will. In my adolescence, I was shy and insecure and I was also emotionally and affectionately awkward. I still am in certain ways, but I’m getting more in tune with that, and that process has been quite entertaining to say the least.
I was a late bloomer, at least in comparison to my peers because from my perspective, my encounters were rare. For example, I lost my virginity in the 11th grade to a girl who was also in the same inexperienced boat that I was in. Most of my boys were just taking V cards, not sharing that moment with someone else.
Once high school was over, it was on to the big leagues–college. I don’t know about you but when I stepped on campus, I was trying to get laid.
My first semester was pretty tame. Low key, it was pretty lame, and in my mind I felt like I was getting treated like a loser. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t sulking or sitting in a corner by any stretch. It was just that most of the women I was trying to bag weren’t having it. I wasn’t getting played. I just wasn’t scoring.
Some of my peers were grabbing them all, and I didn’t understand what was going on. Was there something wrong with me? I even played on the basketball team. You’d think that I’d have a few ladies banging on my door after the games, but nope! Whatever it was you needed to score, I didn’t have it at that time.
Things didn’t start to get crazy for me until I switched schools. That’s when I started getting in my bag. I really don’t know what changed as far as my approach, but I can tell you at least one difference—playing for a really good basketball team.
Maybe my first year being so dry helped me out in the long run. I was the D1 transfer that decided to take my talents to a smaller D3 powerhouse, and from there, the floodgates opened and my confidence went waaaay up!
It was funny because when I first stepped on campus, I was putting my bids in with a few of the ladies but nothing was popping off. I thought to myself, “Not again!”
When hoops season started this time around, though, it was a totally different story. The attention I was receiving was sometimes subtle and sometimes blatant, but either way it was great, fantastic and amazing! It’s like anything else in life, you start balling out, making money, or doing dope stuff…there will be attention coming your way.
Lucky for my college self, it was in the form of horny college girls.
I would have a few women that I dealt with consistently (let’s say 3 to 5) and then there would be the randoms (by randoms, I mean one night stands, whether college women or even locals I had on my radar).
Here’s the best (and kind of crazy) part: I don’t recall having a lot of drama in any of my situationships. For the most part they were pretty smooth. (Again, we’ll get into that later on.)
I’m not going to act like I have “game,” I just know how to talk to people. I’m persuasive, and that’s a skill that can take you very far with the opposite sex and in life.
(I just gave you a major key, for free.)
College always seems to be an experimental phase for young adults, and as an athlete, it was especially true for me. Along with being thrown into this enticing and new world full of possibilities (a.k.a. women), you also tend to become a bit selfish, at least, that was the case for me. I was a total asshole in some encounters that I was involved in, and in hindsight when I realized that, it troubled me, but I know that was a part of my maturity and growth as a man.
I try my best to be as self-reflective as possible, trying to understand my behaviors, where and what I come from and what I can do to break the habits that are not beneficial to me in continuing to grow.
With that said, I must mention that my forefathers (my maternal grandfather as well as my father) were, as my mother so affectionately called them, “hum dingers.” That’s some catchy old school phrase for men who had a lot of women. I come from a lineage of ladies’ men, so I guess it’s not far-fetched that I would at least have a phase were I was reckless. As the idiom goes, the apple doesn’t’ fall far from the tree, but, I don’t use this as a crutch or an excuse.
Saying I took advantage of what was being thrown my way would be an understatement. I was out there, head first (pun intended). But let me tell you this, in hindsight, it’s not all it was cracked up to be.
My life is my life, I have no regrets because I know it’s taken me to where I am now and ultimately where I’m going, but sometimes, just sometimes, I think to myself, “Man how did I do all of that and make it out unscathed?”
My answer is by the grace of God and remembering that all scars aren’t visible. But even though you can’t see them, these experiences and encounters definitely have names, faces, spirits and souls.
Allow me to introduce you to a few…