The Transition From Playing House to Being Single

Today marks my two-year anniversary of being single, and let me tell you–it’s been one crazy ride, but it’s also been a ride that I think is necessary for everyone.

If you read my post on Independence and Intimidation, then you already know that I was in a very serious relationship for three years. Before that, I was in three other relationships that spanned for about two years each, back-to-back. Yeah, I was that girl.

From the age of 14-23, I had a boyfriend, and being with someone was all I knew how to do. And then suddenly, the time came when I had to learn how to be by myself.

I had to make the quick and eye-opening transition from practically playing wife to playing by myself (and with myself…let’s just be honest here). I didn’t know how to deal at first. Who do I text in the morning? Who do I text at night? Who do I hang with when I don’t feel like putting on a slutty dress and going out to get someone’s attention?

The usual stages ran their course: I’d go out constantly, I’d meet a lot of guys, I’d have my rebounds, I’d have my day dates, my night dates, my “let’s just hang out” dates, so on and so forth. Then, there came a point when all of that shit got old.

Slowly but surely, I learned how to be content with being alone and not always having some guy there to entertain me or give me attention. Sure, I continued to date, but if I knew it wasn’t going anywhere, I wouldn’t even bother. I met guys I thought had potential, and I turned out to be wrong. Hell, at one point I thought I met my soul mate, but he loved someone else. Yeah, that one was tough.

But through it all I became a more polished version of myself. I learned what my flaws were, I learned what I still need to work on and I learned that I’m worth more than what I was allowing myself in relationships. You can’t get those lessons without being forced to only focus on yourself.

There are so many cliche quotes that go along with this idea, and you bet your booty I’m about to summarize all of them because, well, that’s what I do.

You need to learn how to be happy by yourself before you can be happy with someone else. 

Being single is better than feeling alone in a relationship.

Being single doesn’t always mean you are available, sometimes you have to put a DO NOT DISTURB sign on your heart.

Single is not a status, it is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.

There are things we must find before we find each other.

When the right man comes along, I feel confident that I can be the woman he needs and deserves, and that’s something I’m proud to bring to the table and couldn’t have offered without having to experience everything that’s happened these past two years.

I’m not saying you need to spend two years alone to understand, but give yourself the opportunity to get to know the real YOU better. Go out, fuck around, have an epiphany–so when the time comes to settle down, you can do it without feeling like you missed out on something.

Now excuse me, I have a massage date with myself to celebrate.

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