Trying to hit on someone is scary.
If you have a mutual friend, then that could slightly increase your odds of success, but in reality, approaching the opposite sex in hopes of trying to create some type of connection is a daunting task. Especially if you’re a total stranger and even more so if they’re a celebrity and you’re not.
They don’t know you from a can of paint, so you really have to be cautious as to what you say and how you say it, and believe me when I tell you those situations can go bad in a hurry. Just wait until you hear my story.
I don’t know how many of you reading this follow the rap-dating scene, but I’m one who quietly champions certain relationships in the industry, especially the hood ones. I want to see everyone win, but there are a few couples that I think we just really want to see make it–from Cardi B and OffSet to Gucci Mane and Keyshia, we love to see a couple glow up!
Unfortunately, they don’t always last. Another dope couple in that category just broke up and Twitter went in an uproar. Actress Lauren London and rapper Nipsey Hussle recently split after dating for at least 4 years, and all of who rooted for them felt the let down.
This recent breakup reminded me of an embarrassing cautionary tale and invaluable lesson I learned a long time ago…when I tried to shoot my shot with Lauren London.
It was the summer of 2007. I got a phone call inviting me to a cookout in Delaware. I was already excited for the food, but then I was told Lauren London was going to be there, too. My eyes almost popped out of my face over the phone. Her movie ATL might have been a year old at that time and everyone was swooning over her. This was going to be my opportunity to have all access and shoot my shot. I was in like Flynn!
Unfortunately, I got to the cookout late and she had already left. I was high-key salty AF about that, but such is life. There’s always a silver lining, though. I was told to pull up to a party in Philly that night and was told she was going to be there too. Trust and believe I made sure I was on time for that.
So let me set the scene…
We went to this spot in West Philly called Koko Bongo. The party was LITTY! I’m in the spot with my homie and as we’re walking into the small VIP section, there she was in all her glory–Lauren London. Man, she’s beautiful.
I was introduced and then as the evening went on we started casually choppin’ it up. As the night goes on, the party is getting crazier. I’m drinking more and I’m trying to see if I can get any type of rhythm form her. I’m setting up my dribble moves to see if I can get this half court heave off like Chef Curry, because at that time the odds of me seeing her again we’re as slimmer than Manute Bol.
The party hit it’s peak, Young Jeezy’s “Corporate Thuggin” comes on, so I make my way the main section of the party to turn up for the hood anthem. (If you’re from Philly and “Corporate Thuggin” comes on it’s a real moment, trust!)
So afterwards I come back to the section and I let it fly from half court with perfect rotation. I just wanted some type of info so we could keep in contact, I surely would have taken anything. So I pull out my sidekick, and of course, like a boss, she has one too. We agree to exchange AIM info. I cue up my phone and give it to her, trying to play it cool and stepping off for a few seconds, but in reality, I’m giving my boy a look of “Holy shit this is really happening???”
THIS IS WHERE THE STORY GOES BAD…
She gives my phone back and literally has the New New face, like “oh, hell nah, I’m good.” At that point, I’m mortified, because I knew something was wrong, but was unsure as to what happened. And then I saw it.
I looked at my phone and I had it cued up for her to add her AIM name under a group called “Bitches.” SMH.
My shot air-balled and landed at the free throw line. My face shattered to 1000 pieces. I tried to apologize, but she wasn’t having it and rightfully so. I wasn’t trying to apologize to save face; I was apologizing because I totally disrespected her.
First and foremost, why in the hell would I even have a category named that? Because I was dumb and immature, that’s why. I’m a firm believer in wrongdoings being the greatest teacher, because if you can acknowledge it and take accountability for your actions, then it ultimately makes you a better person. I give her all the credit in the world for playing it so cool. She could have slapped me, threw a drink in my face, anything, and it would have been justified. All she did was smoothly keep it moving, the curve was A1.
I generally wasn’t one to talk reckless to women or be disrespectful; I wasn’t raised that way. Thelma would have laid hands on me. To be honest there’s really no excuse for what happened on my end, but I can tell you that I immediately deleted that group and vowed to never reference women as bitches again. I was scared straight. In hindsight I needed that to happen, it was an extremely humbling experience. I expressed my deepest apologies and learned a few valuable lessons about respect– respect for women as the queens that they are and respect for the curve.