Texting and Dating: Do’s and Don’ts to Make It Not Suck So Much

“I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies.  It’s exhausting.”

Preach, Drew Barrymore! Her character in He’s Just Not That Into You hit the nail on the head with that one. Technological advances, although cool and convenient, have made dating that much harder. Why? Because we read into everything, and it really started getting complicated when texting got into the picture.

Don’t get me wrong, I text like a motherfucker. Ask anyone that knows me and they’ll tell you–”Never call Bruna. Just text her. Otherwise, you’ll never hear from her.” Hey, can you blame me? It’s easy, it’s fast and sometimes you can’t bring yourself to get the words out of your mouth, so you text. Especially when you first meet someone.

At some point, actually dialing a phone number and hearing the other person’s voice became a big deal when initially mingling with a potential special someone. So texting helps break the ice a little bit, and we all know it’s exciting to see that person’s name pop up on our phone. A (kinda-sorta-but-not-really) handwritten message? Yes, please!

And let’s not forget–it gives us an opportunity to check out people’s grammar and spelling skills (or lack thereof). You would think smart phones would take care of that, but sadly, that’s not the case.

However, nothing good comes without a price to pay, and when it comes to texting, the price we pay is our mental sanity. I’m being serious.

Once you really get into the whole texting thing with someone, you suddenly find yourself over-analyzing all the details. For example, response time: You don’t want to text back too fast because then you’re too available and they’ll know that you’ve been staring at your phone for the past five minutes. You also don’t want to lag too much because then you seem rude.

Then there’s the whole tone issue. You can’t tell when someone’s being sarcastic, unless they add an “lol” right after. And who actually laughs out loud? Hardly anybody. If anything, you do an intense exhale through your nose and smile, but of course on text it’s “HAHAHAHA LMFAO.” Liars. Same thing goes for serious conversations (which I’m just saying, should probably be done over the phone). You have to be extra careful with the way you word things and your timing, otherwise all hell could break loose.

With all that said, the main downer is texting has taken away some of the romance. Late-night phone calls until the break of dawn have turned into anxiously waiting for a text back. Seeing your handsome fella waiting at your door to pick you up for a date has turned into waiting for their text that says “outside.” Ugh. Now, I know there are some gentleman out there that still go back to the old school, chivalrous ways of actually showing up on a girl’s doorstep and ringing the doorbell. To those men I say, thank you.

We’ve all been there when it comes to texting and dating, we know how it can help us and how it can drive us crazy. We also know it’s not going away. So I’ve put together a quick do’s and don’ts list and funny meme gallery because I care about you and want your next textchange to go smoothly:

Do’s

  • Although it is just texting, try to spell things right. At least commonly used words. We can deal with the whole your, you’re, there, they’re and their stuff later.
  • Send that person a random text to let them know you’re thinking about them.
  • Ladies, as amazing as it feels to have the guy text first, it’s OK to text them first from time to time. I’m sure they’d like to know they were on your mind, too.
  • Good morning, good night and have a good day texts are always welcome.
  • Everyone’s busy, but try to be prompt with your responses. It’s the nice thing to do, and if you just can’t participate in a full-on convo, just let them know. It’s better than being blown off.

Don’ts

  • Try to use the emoticons sparingly fellas. It can get creepy when there’s a wink face, happy face and kissy face in one text. Control yourself.
  • This should go without saying, but DO NOT text while you’re on a date. Not only is that rude, but now you have the other person thinking someone else is more important to talk to. And if that’s the case, then just end the date.
  • We all slip from time to time, but try to keep away from texting when you are drunk and/or mad. Nothing good can come of that. Nothing. Ever. Same thing goes for texting “K.” That will put you on the shit list real quick.
  • Don’t let text replace phone conversations or face-to-face interaction.
  • As excited as you are to talk to that person, try not to blow their phone up. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than seeing that you already have five messages before you got to respond to the first one. Type your text, press send, put the phone down.

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