Sex and the City: How Carrie & Big’s Relationship Could Really Fuck Up Your Love Life

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m the biggest Sex and the City fan ever.

I’ve watched every single episode and I’ll re-watch them if there’s a marathon on. I went to see the first movie at midnight and dressed up for it. Then, I purchased the first movie on DVD (but not the second movie because…let’s just forget that exists) and would have the entire series on DVD if it wasn’t so damn expensive.

(I’m a fan. But I’m also sane.)

Anyway, as much as I love the show and consider myself to be the modern-day Carrie Bradshaw, there’s also a part of me that feels like it’s not the greatest example for women.

Let me start by saying–Sex and the City is pretty accurate when it comes to general topics that affect women. We can identify with it because practically every issue pertaining to love is something we’ve dealt with. Along with that, the characters are absolutely genius. The hopeless romantic (Charlotte), the kinky nymphomaniac (Samantha), the workaholic (Miranda) and the one trying to make sense of it all (Carrie)–all four women embody a part of us.

So what do I have a problem with? Carrie’s relationship with Big.

CHRIS-NOTH-as-Mr.-Big-in-New-Line-Cinemas-comedy-SEX-AND-THE-CITY-2-a-Warner-Bros.-Pictures-release.-Photo-by-Craig-Blankenhorn-19-960x1440Oh, Mr. Big. We all aspire to find our Mr. Big, and that bothers me. Because in reality what are we doing?

We’re making excuses for a guy who leads us on (for 10 years, in Carrie’s case) and tells us he’s not the commitment type yet marries someone else and then cheats on her with you and that’s supposedly OK because you’re “meant to be together.” Then, you find a super amazing guy (let’s hear it for Aiden) who actually wants to marry you and doesn’t hesitate to build a life with you, but you shoot him down for Mr. Big.

And when that falls to shit yet again, you date another man. That gets serious and even though nobody sees it going anywhere (really? The Russian?), you give it your all, and then Mr. Big magically gains his senses and flies all the way to Paris to profess his love and proposes but leaves you stranded at the wedding. And you still end up together thanks to a gorgeous pair of blue Manolo Blahniks.

This doesn’t happen in real life. Sorry. It doesn’t. A version of this might happen for some, but this isn’t the usual routine when it comes to romance.

I say this because I’ve used Carrie’s relationship with Big as an excuse plenty of times in my own life.

Oh, we’re not together now, but we will be. Even if he gets engaged and married, we could still be together later. Oh this guy is nice, but he’s not my Mr. Big. One day he’ll realize I’m the one. I’m just gonna keep my hopes up and wait for it to happen.

It’s horrible. You’re reserving a big chunk of your heart for someone who may never come to claim it.

Now I’m not saying to boycott SATC from your viewing pleasure. That would just be preposterous and Lord knows it’s the mecca of amazing relationship quotes.

All I’m saying is don’t directly correlate this television show to your personal love life, because, even though we all swoon over stories of unrequited love, we deserve more than that.

And ain’t nobody got time to waste 10 years on a man who doesn’t know a good thing when he sees one.

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