Mind Games: If You’re Gonna Play, Own That Shit

It’s rare to find someone that won’t make you succumb to the ever-so-annoying mind games when trying to pursue something romantic, and even when you do find that person, you still think they’re fucking with your head because you’re so used to that happening, thanks to douchebags from dating past.

I was never one to play games. Well, that’s a lie. There was a time when I thought I was super cool and could thread all these guys along. Yes, I was that girl. But even then, if I went on a date with a guy and I knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere, I’d tell them straight out–”Sorry, I just don’t think this is something I want.” Bam! Done. Sure, they’d get pissed at me afterward, but I had a clear conscious and I’m sure they appreciated what I did (after cursing my existence).

However lately, I’ve noticed that more often than not, I get the whole “You shouldn’t like me. I don’t have what you deserve. I don’t wanna hurt you..” blah, blah, BLAH. Oh, thanks? And also, WTF? That’s when a number of thoughts rush through my head:

1. Then why do you continue to pursue me?

2. Since when did being a quality woman work against me?

3. Again, WTF?

Then the answer so clearly comes to realization–mind games. I’ll explain.

What do people want? What they can’t have. It’s an inevitable, universal truth, that for whatever reason, we are much more attracted to something or someone we find unattainable because it’s a challenge. I kind of think that’s stupid but I’d also be lying if I said I wasn’t like that.

Take Twilight for example. Yes, I went there (it’s playing on my TV as we speak). Edward told Bella to stay away because he’s no good for her–granted he’s a vampire so her life was threatened, but roll with me–on the flip side, Edward’s the one that can’t stay away from Bella. Why? Because he can’t read her mind and that makes her desirable and mysterious.

Now come back to real-life situations: Mind games are just that–games, and I’m one competitive female, so if you’re gonna tell me, “You shouldn’t like me…etc,” I’m going to ignore my 18-year-old self that’s saying, “You can change that, Bruna. Just continue being awesome,” and instead listen to my older, wiser self that’s saying, “Listen to him.”

If you don’t think you’re worthy of being with me, then you’re probably right. So, OK, I won’t like you. And suddenly, you’ll notice that the the other person is the one wondering what happened, and either they’ll backtrack and figure out how to become that person that you need or just vanish. Either way, you win.

Why waste your time trying to convince someone you’re into to be into you? They either are or they’re not. They either want to be with you or they don’t, and usually that decision was made from the start. If they’re smart, they’d spend their time trying to convince you why they’re worthy of being your special someone, not leave you as one of their options that they can pull closer and throw out whenever they feel like.

Psh, trippin.

Of course, this is all a lot easier said than done. You can’t just turn your feelings off, even if you know that it might be the best thing for you to do, but just ask yourself, don’t you deserve more? Don’t you want the guy that’s going to sweep you off your feet and romance you and show you that you’re a catch instead of the guy that makes you question your worth and compare yourself to people that aren’t even on your level?

Side note: With all that said, please don’ be that person that’s like, “Fuck them. I don’t give a fuck. I never cared any way…” so on and so forth. You look stupid. The fact that you’re even saying that shit shows that you care. Have pride in yourself but don’t be prideful. It’s an ugly trait.

All I’m saying is you don’t have to play mind games if you don’t want to. Once you check yourself out of the situation, you force people to keep it 100, and that’s how you want it.

Leave the game playing for the kids.

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1 Comment

  • This is so true, even from a guy’s perspective. When a girl puts you in the friend-zone, its not going to change. So staying around hoping for the off chance that you can date or fuck her is only going to damage you in the long run and keep you from pursuing a girl who might actually reciprocate feelings in the mean time. Yes the friend-zone sucks sometimes, but just distance yourself a bit, and they will come back to you because they know you are a true friend. Nothing it wrong with friendship, but there is something wrong with waiting and hoping like a lost puppy. You can’t change your feelings, but you can separate your ties with them just enough to allow you to disconnect. Don’t stalk their FB, stay off IG, Snapchat and all other forms of social media that tell you when they are online or what they are doing. It’s harder said than done, but it will help a lot! (speaking from experience).
    Last thing: Don’t get hardhearted just because the heart you loved, wouldn’t love you back in the way you wanted to be loved. Keep being you. =)

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