Y’knowwww, it’s hard to write about who you are and what you hope to bring to the metaphorical table.
As in when Bruna approached me to write for The Problem With Dating. I wasn’t exactly sure I was the right guy. Yes, she told me she wanted me to focus on explaining the dating world as it is for a gay man. And I am gay, so that made sense from her POV.
But why me? There are plenty of gay people who write about dating, sex, and love.
Even as I smiled and nodded and agreed to contribute, I immediately felt the frightful pang of what do I know about this shit? Maybe if I describe myself to you, you can get a better sense at how I may see the world.
First and foremost, my name is Alex and I am a human being (not the cyborg that I hope to be some day soon).
I am a gay man of mixed-race (latino, white), and nearly halfway through my 28th trip around the sun. I was raised Catholic, but currently non-practicing yet am spiritual. North Carolina born and raised, I went to college, and moved to Los Angeles in 2010.
This was around the time that Grindr and OKCupid became a thing. I’ve happened to use both those dating tools to varying degrees of success. I’ve been on great dates, I’ve also been on dates so bad that they advanced my anxiety disorder. I’m very sexual with the right person. I enjoy meeting new people. I have never been satisfied with my physical shape, although most people would say I’m thin and completely fine how I am (those sweet, sweet lying friends of mine). I believe in energy, fateful compatibility, but also a pragmatic approach to dating.
I am hopeful, yet I have my bouts of bitter cynicism.
While the above appears to be a version of my dating profile, I hope you, the reader, can get a sense of where I’ll be coming from. I know that I do not represent the large swath of diversity within the gay community. I hope that no one reading my musings would think I speak for the entirety of a community. I am simply a voice within a community that has very many.
In terms of content, I can’t wait to present to you the variety of tragically hilarious dates I’ve been on (and maybe you all will relate to). Also, pep talks about self-worth, profiles on the different types of people you may encounter IRL (or on the Internet), and much more.
I can’t wait to get started and I’m excited to be a part of the Problem With Dating team.
Let’s get real.
Follow Alex on Twitter @omgalex and Instagram @actually_alex_