Man Finds Love the Moment He Stops Looking for It

A San Fernando Valley bachelor reports finding love the day after he stops looking for it.

His decision came during a particularly enlightening conversation with his Uber driver, Dimitri, who in addition to providing water and gum, generously dishes out grade A love advice to his riders to ensure he keeps that five-star rating in tip-top shape.

“You know what you have to do, man? It’s like when I’m looking for ride requests. The minute I stop looking, a ride request comes in. Just stop looking for it, bruh.”

The ride-along counseling session was just the final push this hopeless romantic needed to definitively enact this popular and often unsolicited advice to stop looking for love. And the next day, as he walked to his car after leaving work, love was just there, gleaming up at him, shining like a copper penny on the sidewalk! If he had known it was so simple, he would have put this tactic to use much, much sooner.

And it’s not like no one told him this before, because they had, repeatedly, at all times, when he asked, when he didn’t ask, when he was just quietly sitting there and minding his own business, when he wasn’t even sure why or how his dating life had yet again become a topic of discussion–friends, family, acquaintances, and colleagues had all dished out this highly valuable, golden nugget of not-at-all-cliche advice.

Sometimes he’d even get stopped by complete strangers on the street, who would proclaim, “Hey man, you wanna find love? Well then you gotta stop looking for it!”

Now, as most people do once in the comfort and security of being in love with his shiny love penny now in the pocket of his heart, he, too, is going to be sure to start spreading that advice high and wide! To his still single friends, to his dog, to his cat, to his neighbors and even to other strangers!

Are you having a hard time finding love? It’s simple. Just stop looking for it, duh.

This is part of The Problem With Dating’s satirical column, AKA Love. In other words, this shit didn’t actually happen (to our knowledge).

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