Ladies—How to Recognize a Real One

Innately, I believe most women desire to find their special person, fall in love, get married, have a family and live the rest of their lives happily ever after. If only it were that easy. Have you ever tried dating in 2018? That burning desire surely sounds like a pipe dream these days, doesn’t it? How many times have you swiped right or clicked on that heart just to be disappointed on that first date? Probably more times than you’d like to admit.

We’re living in the microwaveable era of romance, where one day, feelings and emotions are heating up only to be thrown in the trash, ghosted and never to be heard from again the following day. Simply stated, it’s hard to find someone you genuinely connect with and see yourself getting to know on a much deeper level. Even if you were in a serious situation that didn’t lead to saying, “I do,” I think a vast majority of you can agree that it’s really dope when you come across someone who you caught a genuine vibe with. Regardless of the duration of that situationship, it was a good run, your memories were positive, but for whatever reason, it just wasn’t meant to be. He just wasn’t the one.

The saying, “men are trash” is preached more than ever nowadays, but the truth is there’s an equal amount of shady people on both sides. However, the flip side is there’s a lot of genuine and quality catches out there on both sides, too. It’s just hard to find, and can be emotionally draining–ain’t nobody got time for that!

With all that being said, ladies, I’d like to do my best to provide a few shortcuts in recognizing a real one when you meet one so you can possibly save yourself time, potential disappointments and emotional headaches.

He’s Direct With His Intentions: By nature, men are conquerors and in today’s society any and everybody can get laid. It’s really not that difficult. But if he takes the time to get to know you as a person on a deeper level, not basic things like what’s your favorite color, but real things at the core of who you are, your ambitions, goals and true desires, then this is someone you should potentially consider keeping around and getting to know more of. A straight shooter will always grab your attention, because you know what their intentions are. If he’s only texting you on the late night, or just wants you to come hang out at his place all the time, chances are high that this situation isn’t going too far and he just wants some ass. Maybe you just want that, too, which is all good if that’s the case, but that’s not the point of this here topic.

His Words Match His Actions: Ladies, sometimes you have a way of Jedi mind-tricking yourself into thinking a situation is something that it’s not. How you do this I’ll never know or understand but it’s rather amazing. A man that wants something serious is going to know how to properly approach you, it’s all in what he says as well as how he acts. If his actions and words don’t match and you’re still willing to deal with him, then don’t be too surprised when it turns out that he ain’t shit.

He Expresses How He Feels About You: In my humble opinion, communication is the most vital ingredient to any healthy relationship and a man that is in love loves hard. Often times it’s difficult to express our emotions, because of the stigma behind it or whatever emotional baggage we may be carrying, but a man that is smitten will let you know and it will not be up for misinterpretation. Either way it shakes down, allow that man the room to tell you how he feels. If he’s really into you, he’s going to let you know. It will not be anything you have to question or second-guess. I repeat, HE WILL LET YOU KNOW.

He’s Consistent: Consistency is key. I think if you get the first three in a man, this fourth point hopefully comes as a given with the package. He’s consistent with his intentions, his words consistently match his actions and he consistently lets you know how he feels about you. If you’re reading this and saying, “Yassss” or whatever other phrase(s) you may use, there’s a strong possibility you could and should have someone great on your hands. If you’re reading this and thinking, “This man doesn’t exist,” I’m here to tell you that he does, but you won’t ever meet him if you keep messing with guys who give you less than you deserve.

Now, here’s the million-dollar question–are you doing these same things for your man? If so, sounds like you’re both on your way to something awesome and I wish you both the best. Fruitful relationships take two, not one, so play your part and leave the rest up to God.

My name is Jacky. Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk.

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