Six months ago I moved from the Dirty South (Houston) to Southern California.
Since doing so, I’ve had to learn how to get around, how to keep from losing my sanity in traffic, how to find a place to park that won’t result in a parking ticket (which I think is impossible FYI), and the thing that most pertains to this website–how to date in the land of LA.
Of course I know how to date. In fact, I’ll have you know that I’ve been on quite a few dates. (Side note: almost every single one comes with a hilarious story. Don’t worry, these will be written about soon.)
However, what I didn’t realize is that dating, or the lack thereof, would be so difficult to come by in California.
I’m not sure if it’s just me that feels this way, but meeting a guy in California has proved to be nearly impossible. It’s not that I don’t see gorgeous men out here, because I do. I stalked one in the grocery store just the other day, and I’m still looking for him on Missed Connections.
But what I have found is that the men out here don’t take the initiative to talk to you like the ones in Houston do.
In Houston, I could go out to one of my frequented spots, and be approached by at least one man any time I was there. I’m not trying to toot my own horn, it’s just a fact.
Here in California, in all of the times I have been out, I have been hit on once. ONCE.
I was out with my girls at a bar, and a guy came over and asked me to dance. Much to my surprise, I agreed. I think I was in shock that I was actually being talked to. We danced for a few songs. We had some conversation during our dancing, but nothing that stuck out to me as a potential match.
Before we parted ways so that I could dance with my friends again, he asked me for my number. I declined. I just didn’t feel a connection. To be honest, I didn’t even remember his name. Yes, I know that’s bad, but don’t act like you haven’t been there.
That was my one experience getting hit on while out. Other than that, I’ve just been dancing on my own. It’s definitely humbling on a night that you’re feeling yourself, and you seem to be the only one that is.
What I noticed about men in the South is that they are much more likely to approach a woman. I won’t say that it’s always the best conversation, but they do try. Out here I have been stared at for a long time without any form of communication attempted. I’m not sure what that is about, but—spoiler alert—it doesn’t work.
However, maybe it isn’t California. Maybe it’s the way I view California.
Regardless, the differences are eye-opening and they are causing me to dig a little deeper into the conversation. It’s time to take it further and find out the real issue.