Do Soul Mates Really Exist?

“According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”–Plato

That’s an interesting concept to entertain, isn’t it? Soul mates.

To believe that our whole life, we’ve been searching for that one special person that completes us completely, someone who fits into our life and our being like a missing puzzle piece, and that all along, this person, who was chosen for you from the beginning of time, has been looking for you, too.

I’d be lying if I said I don’t believe in soul mates, but I’m not sure if I believe in it for the right reasons. I’m also not sure if this belief is technically hurting me when it comes to dating.

As a hopeless romantic, I’ve always held on tight to the idea that there is one man out there for me. One man whose DNA was engineered to be the guy I’m meant to be with, whose life experiences have shaped him to be the person I need to become a better woman and whose heart is open to giving me a permanent residency. I still believe that. In my heart of hearts, I believe that.

But I’m also a realist (not negative, just real), so I have to question the whole thing, too. Like, really? There’s only oneperson out there that was destined to be with me from day one? What if something happened to him? What if he’s stuck somewhere and I’m over here watching Friends? What then?

What if we use the term “soul mate” as an excuse to make ourselves believe that someone is supposed to be ours? Like brushing off prospective significant others because “I’m meant to be with so-and-so, it’s just not the right time.”

Or what if we have more than one soul mate? What if we meet a handful of people that could be our soul mate, but we ultimately have to choose one? Or the path we take only allows us to be with one? I’m just thinking out loud here.

In my post about transitioning from a serious relationship to the single life, I mentioned that I thought I met my soul mate, and a part of me still does. And that’s when it interferes with my dating life.

How can I fully open myself up to the possibility of falling in love with someone when in the back of my mind, I think I’ve already found the one? And how can I give a guy a fighting chance, when he’s instantly being compared to someone else? It’s not fair. It’s not fair to him and it’s not fair to me.

And that’s when I have to give it to me straight–Bruna. If this guy really was your soul mate, wouldn’t you be together? Wouldn’t he be calling you his girl right now instead of someone else? Doesn’t the ideal scenario include the person you love loving you back? Maybe. Possibly. Yes.

One thing I definitely believe with all I have is that everyone who enters your life has a purpose. They’re either a blessing or a lesson, or in the case of my “soul mate,” both. Maybe he’s not the one I’m meant to be with, but instead someone the universe placed into my life as a reminder that there are men in the world who are the type of man I want in my life, that amidst the number of douche bags, there still are quality, standup gentleman who meet my standards, so I shouldn’t feel bad for placing them so high.

Yeah, maybe that’s what it is.


But if you choose to believe in soul mates when it comes to romance and finding “the one,” as I still do, I hope that you understand what this person should entail. It’s not always about finding a mirror image of yourself, but more so finding a mirror for you. Finding someone who shows you all your flaws and tears down your walls and pushes you to become the greatest version of yourself that you can be. Someone who does this because they love you, they see what you’re capable of and they care. Someone you would consider your best friend.

“Throughout life you will meet one person who is unlike any other. You could talk to this person for hours and never get bored, you could tell them things and they won’t judge you. This person is your soul mate, your best friend. Don’t ever let them go.”

I know you guys have your own theories on soul mates. Let’s discuss.

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1 Comment

  • Wow I can totally relate to your post and how your definition and thought process of a soul mate is affecting your dating life. I too am hopelessly romantic. And since (way back when), understanding anything called feelings towards women, I’ve never been able to give a woman totally me, a try, a true chance. Because deep down inside, they weren’t who I thought was for me. Simply put, they weren’t who I WANTED. I don’t know how I knew that but I just did. For sooooo long, there has always been something I wanted but couldn’t explain it. But I felt like I would know it when I found it. And when I finally did, I lost “love” (her) just like that… at the snap of the fingers it felt. But it didn’t have to be that way, if I could have only continued to believe in love, to believe in myself and only what I can feel (no one else!). Instead I decided to listen to friends who said (about another young lady before I met her), to “give it a try”. And that’s how I lost her, because I was too busy in a “relationship” I didn’t want and didn’t know how to get out of and go for her that I WANTED, her who wanted me as well… a mutual feeling… a rare case in life and love. Since that lost love, I learned that I wasn’t crazy, and to always trust in what I felt and didn’t. And I promised myself to never say “yes” to anything unless I WANT it. I’m having a hard time giving anything “a try” unless I feel it inside. Though the sad reality is, we are getting older and time is passing us by. But I don’t know how to pretend to love someone/want someone when I just don’t. And so I truly feel (like you), I’ve been affected by the one thing I believe in the most; the one thing that comes so natural for me; the only way I know how to love. It sounds so crazy that one can think this way but I can’t help what I feel. “The Heart Wants What It Wants”. After over 12 years, people keep saying, “damn you need to let her go”. But I promise you, it’s not her that I want (anymore), but the type of love we had/felt that I want. And I have felt similar love again (for 3 other women since then). The #1 difference, the feelings weren’t mutual. And thats why I say, it’s not her I want, but the type of love we had… that mutual feeling where neither one doubted that the other person felt the same way… a rear case. But the same reason I so believe in this quote…

    “It’s hard to wait for something you know might not happen. But it’s even harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want”

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