I don’t even know where to start with this one. I guess the beginning? Yeah that seems logical.
Those of you who read my posts are well aware by now that I’ve been stuck on a certain guy for the past three years. Those of you who read my posts are also aware that some clarity over the last few months helped me cut those ties. Or at least, try to.
Well, there’s been some significant changes since then.
No, we didn’t end up happily ever after. In fact, it’s almost the complete opposite…but it’s still a happy story.
Have you ever heard the saying “If you wanna get over someone, get under someone else”? It’s kinda true. I’m not saying boning another person will help you move forward (it actually makes it worse sometimes) but the idea of meeting someone else that piques your interest really is the best way–in my experience–to fully move on.
And I met someone. A great someone. Someone who almost didn’t seem real because he was everything I’ve ever wanted and more. And everything that I was holding on to so tight with my “soulmate” because I swore up and down and all around to everyone I knew that I would never find anything similar, I found with this guy.
It was almost surreal. For the first time in a very, very long time, I found someone I was truly excited about.
So, we continued getting to know each other, taking things extremely slow (but in my head we were already planning our beach wedding) and sure enough, what do you think happens? My “soulmate” reappears.
Ladies, this is always the case. The second you move on, the past comes knocking on your door. And even though I knew deep down inside that this would happen, the wind was still knocked out of me when it actually did.
Not only did he reach out to me, but he was in town. Mind you, for nearly two years I planned on what I would do if he came back to town and saw me. I nailed down everything from my hair to my outfit to our dialogue (assuming he would follow the script I wrote out in my head). And now, the moment came.
But guess what? It didn’t matter anymore.
We didn’t end up seeing each other, and normally, I would have been so furious and disappointed, but I wasn’t. We did, however, have a conversation that was three years overdue. I finally got the closure that I needed, and that’s always better late than never. He told me what I always knew (he was never going to really pursue anything with me) and asked for forgiveness. I forgave him and thanked him for giving me the courage to close one very long and intense chapter of my life.
Deep inhale and exhaaaaaale that shit out.
The timing of all of this absolutely amazed me, and it really reassured me that the Universe is listening. So, I obviously ended up getting together with my future husband and we fell madly in love, right? Wrong. Oh, so wrong.
This is when the Universe fucked with me.
It was almost as if the second my “soulmate” voiced the words I needed to hear, the other guy decided to disappear. Boom, gone.
WTF happened?! Good question. I’m not entirely sure, but all contact on his end has stopped. And while it’s extremely easy for me to mope around and feel like I lost the one good thing I had to look forward to, I won’t. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sad about it. Devastated, disappointed, hurt, pissed…you name it. But as I always say, everything happens for a reason and this reason was plain as day.
This man, the one who came from left field and became the center of my world, served a purpose in my life, and once that was fulfilled, it was over.
Sure, our love affair (or whatever you would call it) was short lived, but he came into my world at such a crucial time. Had I not been introduced to him and had he not opened my heart and my mind to the possibilities of what is out there, my closure conversation would not have gone down the way it did. Instead of being understanding and positive, I probably would have drowned in sorrow and contemplated different reasons why my “soulmate” is still my “soulmate” and gone off the rail. Crazy Bruna alert!
So while I’m sad that this guy didn’t end up being thee guy (and I’ll admit, I do contemplate that he still may be from time to time), I’m grateful for him. He gave me the strength I didn’t even know I needed to grow and move forward, and a gift like that is priceless.