Dear Dating Diary,
Remember when I was really aggressive? Like to the point where my friends told me to stop acting like a man? Yeah, well, although I’ve toned it down a lot in recent years, I can recall a few times that being forward worked out for me, and I’ll tell you one story now.
For four and a half years, I worked as a barista at Starbucks. It was a great job–for the most part. I got along with all of my coworkers, I was able to be creative when making drinks, and more importantly, I was able to interact with different people every day. I loved that. Meeting strangers, striking up conversation while making their beverage, and usually, becoming someone they considered a friend.
Well, one particular regular caught my eye. I thought he was so cute. I would always try to remember his order when he came in to impress him, but he kept switching it up so that was a little difficult. But each time, he was very polite and sweet and always gave me a smile. However, he had such a baby face, I was sure he was probably 16 years old or something and I was around 20 years old at the time, so I didn’t think much of it.
Then my coworker told me that they went to high school together and he was my age. Oh what?! Let the mission begin. I guess my coworker decided to tip him off on the fact that I was interested, so all of a sudden I had a MySpace friend request (of course). I kept debating whether or not I should message him, but he ended up messaging me first. That was really nice. Even though I don’t mind making the first move, it’s always better when the guy does it. Anyway, I don’t remember what he said exactly, something like, “Well isn’t it my favorite barista.” Cute. I responded with something short and witty, Bruna-style. And that was it.
The next day he came in and I was on the bar making drinks. There was a line and I was workin’ like a mad woman, but we made eye contact and did a “hey!” type of thing. I’m pretty sure I turned bright red. Anyway, I ended up giving him my number during that visit, so for the next couple of hours, I was just waiting for that text. Anything to acknowledge that he got my number and was now giving me his. But nothing came.
So I took matters into my own hands.
Later that night, his brother came in. I didn’t know it was his brother at the time, I just knew he hung out in the same group. So I said, “Hey, you know [name] right?” and he said, “Yeah, that’s my brother.” Oh!
“Well, I’ll give you your iced coffee for free tonight if you give me your brother’s phone number.”
He was into it. So I crafted his delish beverage, and he wrote down his brother’s number for me. I went straight to my phone and typed, “You took way too long to text me.” Send. (Looking back now, that seems borderline crazy. Oh well. It worked in my favor.)
Because he’s awesome, he responded laughing and said, “I was doing the 3-day rule. I have to wait three days before contacting you.”
Side note: Is this rule for real? Because it’s fucking stupid.
I told him, “If you would have waited three days, there may have been someone else in the picture.” To be completely honest, there was already someone else in the picture (See: Dating Diary: From Friendship to Romance to Betrayal). We continued texting and he would keep coming in to visit me and spend my lunch break with me. And then he asked me out on a date. Like a real date. That’s another thing I liked. He didn’t use visiting me at work or hanging out during my break as an excuse to not take me out.
Our first date was great. He picked me up, we went out for sushi (although, not sure I’d normally recommend sushi for a first date because you have to open your mouth up really wide for some bites and that can be awkward), and when dinner was over, we weren’t ready to end the night. So I went and hung out with him at his house with his friends. I got to meet everyone, and we shot hoops in the front yard.
Everything was so easy. And I keep trying to remember that. Sometimes I get so caught up that maybe I’m not making the right decision with men, or maybe I’m being too hard on some guys or not opening myself up, but in reality, when it’s meant to happen, it happens. And it’s easy. Everything just falls into place.
We hung out practically every day after that. And one morning, he came to me with a bowl of Jell-O, my favorite. When I opened the lid, there was writing on top that said, “Will you be my girlfriend?”
I loved that and that’s something I’ll always remember. I’m super cheesy, so these things are appreciated and he was always good with that. Random love notes on my car, flowers, going big for holidays, cooking me dinners…he was always great at being romantic and making me feel special. Maybe this all would have still happened if I didn’t text him first, but maybe it wouldn’t have.
Either way, this guy had my heart for three years. It was a beautiful and crazy ride that unfortunately had to come to an end, but I’ll save that story for another time.