I’m not even sure where to start gushing about Red Table Talk.
Anyone who’s followed my work can easily see the parallels and overlap with the content. I admire anyone who shares such meaningful and transparent conversations with the world, because I think they’re crucial in order to collectively heal. This Facebook show is no exception.
Anyone who’s followed me just as a person knows how much I adore Will Smith. I grew up watching Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and vividly remember rapping the opening theme song at 6 years old in front of the TV. I fell in love with Will as a little girl, and continued to admire him and follow his career as I grew alongside him.
So, obviously, when he appeared for not one, but two parts of Red Table Talk, I was giddy as ever. Not just because two worlds I love were uniting, but because Jada and Will’s marriage was one that I often praised.
As a single woman who is searching for a deep, unconditional love type of bond, I knew they had gems that they were going to spill that I would hold on to and refer back to when my time came with my partner. That’s partially why I created this post. But also, I think we can all take something away from these truths.
(Honestly, I could’ve quoted both episodes in entirety, but I strongly urge you to watch them, because there’s just so much wisdom shared.)
Here are 7 gems from Will and Jada’s Red Table Talk:
1. Will on His Divorce With First Wife, Sheree: “I still told her, I said no, you can’t have a divorce. And she hit me with the, ‘So you’re going to make somebody stay with you who doesn’t love you?'”
2. Will on the Importance of Marriage to Him: “You know how I’m a scientist, everything is science for me. I read something when we first got together that the most successful men in history have been married. And for me, I knew that I would squander my life if I was running around. The way my mind works, I can only excel for a woman…and the one thing that I think has been the greatest motivator and asset for me with you is your absolute refusal to accept anything from me other than the best that I could possibly be.”
3. Will on Setting Boundaries With Jada: “We went in the other room, and I was like, ‘Jada, this is the deal. I grew up in a household where I watched my father punch my mother in the face, and I will not create a house, a space, an interaction with a person where there’s profanity and violence. If you have to talk to me like that, we can’t be together. We’re not gonna use any profanity, we’re not gonna raise our voice, we’re not gonna be violent. I can’t do it.'”
4. Jada on How to Honor Anger in a Healthy Way: “For me, I had to discipline myself and handle that really within myself and say, OK, what are you really angry about? And then come to peace, and then come to Will when I can actually have a communication. Because really, you’re not communicating when you’re talking to each other in anger. What I realized is, you’re beating up on someone you say you love…versus, handle that with yourself.”
5. Jada & Will Learning to Love Through Brokenness: “I’ve come to understand there’s no right or wrong. Everybody’s operating from a place of hurt…everybody’s broken. And I realized, the idea that my brokenness created all of my discomfort…
“Mine, too. The fact that I was broken and I learned how to look fixed to the world. Will Smith is a character. But deep down inside, I was an insecure little boy, who wanted Jada to say I was great. And if she didn’t say I was great, the dragon came out.”
6. Jada on Self-Love and Expectations: “For me, personally, I had a lot of emotional maturity to do. I had just realized I had a lot of childhood traumas that I had brought with me that I wasn’t aware of. A lot of father issues. And I realized I had to learn to be a lot of things for myself. I used to think that if you don’t need somebody then you don’t love them. And if you’re not needed, then you’re not loved. That was a false belief I had. I can’t expect someone to love me more than me. You know…if you don’t like being with you, the hell makes you think somebody else wants to be with you? If you don’t love yourself…We expect people to love us more than we love ourselves. We expect other people to do the work for us. I definitely went through that with Will. I thought it was his job to make me feel a certain way. I had to break that fantasy.”
7. Will Praising Jada’s Happiness: “You’ve found something on this Red Table and with this space that I tried my damnest to build for you. A space where you get to fully and honestly and thoroughly be you, and to get all of the love and praise you deserve. When I see you on this Red Table, it is the joy that I’ve always hoped you’d have.”
Watch Part 1 here: https://www.facebook.com/redtabletalk/videos/2174148442809253/
Watch Part 2 here: https://www.facebook.com/redtabletalk/videos/248366862696188/