We’re living in a digital era, which means we can pretty much do any and everything on our phones, and that has become a game changer when it comes to dating. Long gone are the days of BlackPlanet, Migente and Match. Now it’s apps like Tinder and Bumble that have cornered the market and decided the potential fate of your love life with a swift swipe of a finger.
These can all be advantageous options for dating, but in my humble opinion, what has arguably become the best method to shoot your shot is sliding in the DM (for those who don’t know, I’m talking about direct messaging someone on Instagram, Twitter or even Facebook.)
Also, if you don’t know what that means by now, you need to get your life.
There are people whose marriages began with a message in the DM. To coin the Memphis poet Yo Gotti, “It goes down in the DM, it goes down!”
So, because that’s the case these days, I figured I’d lend my services and give you some do’s and don’t to help you slide in those DMs with style and grace.
- Find Out What Mutual Friends You Have: Try doing a little due diligence. If she’s following some of your homies and they’re savages, you might want to leave well enough alone before you press send. I’m just saying.
- Be You: This seems like a no-brainer, right? Wrong. There’s usually a lot of fronting and frauding that goes down in the DM, and that will ultimately catch up with you. It’s so much easier to just be yourself. She wants to know the real you, not the social media you.
- Ask Engaging Questions: I’m talking about the basics–How was your day? Where are you from? Once you start to get a little rhythm in your conversation, you can ask her the last show she watched on Netflix. Just keep this at the forefront of your mind. You’re a stranger, she doesn’t have to entertain you, but if you ask a few interesting questions, that DM might turn into a date.
- Compliment Her: Cliché? Maybe. Corny? Debatable. You want a response though, right? Just do it! I have a sincere appreciation for a woman that is nice on eyes (that alone is never enough, but it’s a good start lol). So, the approach is simple. Let her know that her pictures are fire, that she has a nice smile, that she’s beautiful, etc. Talk your talk, but keep it genuine.
- Use Proper Grammar: Spell your words properly. Know the difference between they’re, there and their, too and to, etc. This is such a major key that it can take you from the DMs to the bedroom. So I’ve heard.
- Use Pet Names: Again, you don’t know her, so addressing her by some pet name that you’ve probably called some of your former women is not the wave.
- Be a Stalker: Don’t become Mark Wahlberg in Fear. If you’ve seen the movie, this is self-explanatory. Don’t be that guy, period! (If you haven’t seen it, see it. Great movie!). What I’m saying is don’t be that guy who keeps contacting her when she doesn’t respond. Asking things like, “Did you get my last message?” is not going to help. That little notification that says “seen” means she saw it bro. Let it go!
- Come Across Too Sexual From the Rip: Believe me, women love sexual banter just as much as we do, but just because she’s engaging in a conversation with you doesn’t mean that she’s already fantasizing about having sex with you. Take your time, young grasshopper. That article you recently read about semen proving to cure eczema…don’t send her that. At least not right now, it can wait.
- Become Annoying: Yes, there’s a slight chance she forgot to respond, or thought she did respond and actually didn’t. Two-message max bro. If after a few days, or a week, she still hasn’t responded, keep it moving. She’s just not that into you.
- Ever Play Yourself: Open-ended statement, I know, but if Khaled said it then it must be true. Slide in these DMs wisely and flourish my G.